The Ministry of Funny Turns- and other oddities (photo links included)

Since Tuesday, I've been in Melbourne, the capital of the state of Victoria, which is located to the West of the state of New South Wales, in which I had previously been staying. Generally, I'd have to say the hostel and tour have been much more sociable than in Sydney, with fewer breaches of group social etiquette and some good conversation at last, though some people appear never to have consulted the OED or Webster's definition of 'group', for I'm quite sure it doesn't read 'collection of atomistic units of various size which pay token or no heed to each other'- and some people are so presumptious you just have to laugh. This notwithstanding, I have had the opportunity to converse with some interesting people here unlike in Sydney, where the scene appeared overwhelmingly low-brow, and in a way rather juvenile, despite some of the activities being superficially very adult (euphemism).
Let's say, my first day in Melbourne was 'interesting'- it is almost a law of nature that nothing in the life of Max follows the standard pattern. The people at my bus transfer company seem to have a screw loose, since they got all confused and got me to the airport at 7.20 am for an 11 am domestic flight- even my parents wouldn't be quite that early. Thankfully, I was offered an earlier flight, so got some extra time to acquaint myself with Melbourne. The hostel in which I'm staying is a 'flashpacker hostel'- no it's not a nudist resort- it just means the facilities are that bit less spartan and better maintained- great news for Mr High-Maintenance. As for room allocation, it was conducted by an Irishman with a cheeky demeanour. Hostel guest lists typically hace a high turn-over, so now it's more balanced- but what was it that drove him to decide to put me with a group of girls none of whom could speak fluent English- my TEFL language-grading skills came in handy- and no-one checked my CRB despite not all being real adults- tut-tut. Was it my tendency to sashay around- but that's very hard to do with a mammoth backpack. Or did he mistakenly think I'd be good 'entertainment'- sure he could have found a muscular sportsman from somewhere.
Slightly concerningly, before my helicopter flight as part of my Great Ocean Road trip (photos on facebook- Great Ocean Road in Max Barnish's photo area; or open Picasa link http://picasaweb.google.com/maxbarnish/GreatOceanRoad02?authkey=yUkAvxT8uVE#) I weighed in at a meagre 68 kg (think that's 10 stone 7), giving away nearly 30 kgs to the other guy in the chopper- maybe I need to eat some more roast dinners! The Great Ocean Road is a spectacular coastal drive west of Melbourne, comprising of the sublime Surf Coast and the rugged Shipwreck Coast- of which I have some aerial photos in my album.
Back in Melbourne itself, I witnessed one of the strangest driving phenomena ever. Just as Monty Python brought you the Ministry of Funny Walks, Melbourne brings you the Ministry of Funny Turns. Picture this- you're driving up to an intersection, and want to turn right. Normally you'd want to get into the right-hand lane, right? But oh no, not in Melbourne. Now imagine, how would you perform this right-turn manoeuvre if the aim was to make as many people laugh as possible. This is not far off how a Melburnian would do it. So, you move over to the extreme left, yes you heard that correctly, as such getting in the way of everyone actually turning left, maybe hitting the kerb to scare a few pedestrians for good measure, then when all the traffic is going straight across the interesection from the road on your left into the one you want, you turn horizontally across the intersection as if you had come from the road on the left, hoping you'll not collide with a vehicle coming from the left. Crazy!
I also watched two matches at the famous Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG). With a capacity of 100,000, this modern stadium is too big for it's own good, and has a lot less character than the Sydney Cricket Ground in my opinion. Here follow my match reports click on links for scorecards(please report any link problems by comment or maxbarnish@gmail.com):-

4/2/09 Victoria vs South Australia (50 ovs- MCG)
www.cricketarchive.com/archive/scorecards/180/180616.html

Victoria (204/4 off 37.3 overs) comfortably overcame South Australia's score of 200/9 (innings complete) at the MCG to go top of the Ford Ranger Cup table. The highlight of the well-below-par South Australian innings was a dsiciplined 89 off 116 balls with 7 fours by Callum Ferguson, marking his first call-up to the national one-day squad, ably assisted by no7 Aaron O'Brien with 23 off 57 balls with 2 fours and bowler Mark Cleary with a run-a-ball 32 with 4 fours. However, SA couldn't recover from 32/4 plus the retirement of Tom Cooper, felled by Shane Harwood (4 for 33 off 10 overs) who inflicted much of the early damage. The highlight was a stunning return catch diving across the wicket to dismiss SA wicket-keeper-captain Graham Manou for 5. In reply, the result never looked in doubt following a rapid start for Victoria with 62 runs coming off the first 10 overs (Rob Quiney firing 31 off 33 balls with 4 fours and a six). Major contributions from all-rounders captain Cameron White, released from national duty, with 33 off 43 balls with 4 fours and a six, and Andrew McDonald (55 off 74 balls with 7 fours) saw Victoria home with more than 12 overs to spare. Jake Haberfield, in only his 3rd match for South Australia, took 3 for 48, albeit a bit expensive off 6.3 overs.

(International match report to follow next week)

Max